Heal

The last and third pillar is Heal.

Heal, or self healing, (is) within your body. Your being. Your self. Where do I want to be? What do you want? And what is ready to be let go and named? What is familiar and how will I be and do differently?

As I continued to practice and build up my communication skills and ability to navigate conversations around systems of oppression, I also continued to consume content, and put myself in spaces where I grew in my knowledge, awareness of nuance, built relationships, witnessed multiple perspectives and storytelling and and leaned into humble confidence in my knowledge about intersectionality and the anti blackness/racist history of this country and the world. 

In my experience, what has given me more confidence in my ability to navigate myself and others in this ongoing learning and journey has been multiple modalities of healing.

Trauma informed talk therapy, tapping, coaching, energy healing, energy reading, enneagram awareness.

Have all been ways for me to better know myself and my patterns.  Ways to integrate and synthesize what I have learned, and give myself permission to always come back and try, try again.  To come back to and stay open to the constant opportunities for new growth and understanding. 

It has been compared to peeling layers of an onion.  Peeling of layers of conditioning, in order to come back to our true authentic self, beyond past trauma and hurt. Beyond past denial and ignorance.  Finding ways to continue to deepen in understanding that I am human and WILL make mistakes.  But that I can learn, and choose to do differently. That I can over time build up my tolerance for discomfort, for making mistakes.

Which will only continue to build up my wall of capacity, brick by brick. Energy and somatic work can parallel Love and Bubbles towards deeper and faster healing. Healing moments that can reconnect me to self, my feelings, and ultimately closer to empathy and connection.

Being willing to engage with the question, how am I part of systems of oppression and what am I going to do about that today? 

What is my role, capacity, will, skill and ability to do something today? What is my next right step? 

What do I need? 

In order to stay in this for the rest of my life?

In a sad little twist, racial development is self development in many ways for white folks. Delving into my racial identity development has only opened me up to greater, and deeper healing.  And continues to shine light in corners and cracks that still need my attention and due diligence to clean up. 

Regulation

Window of Tolerance

Healing Trauma

Feel and move through - shame, blame, guilt

Know your stoppers and what keeps you from engaging - future

Personal

Know thyself

Triggers

Trauma

Patterns

How do I show up?

Unlearning

Peel layers

Somatics

Energy

Nervous system

Mind - body - spirit

Gut